When I speak to women in our sessions, for many, sex has become more of a duty than a source of delight. One woman shared, “As long as I give sex to my husband – whether I want it or not – I would have done my wifely duty”. Most women have given up on romance, sex, and fulfilling relationships all together.
It’s sad how female sexuality has been suppressed by society. Sex is meant for just men – and women are just supposed to give it. Many women have been in relationships for 5, 10, 20 years where they’ve never reached an orgasm. Even worse, we don’t talk about it because our minds get flooded with thoughts like, “Is he going to see me the same way?”, “Am I going to hurt his ego?”. Sometimes, things start great with our partners but over time, it devolves in boredom. The man isn’t as romantic as he once was, neither is he willing to explore adventurous sexual territories to spice things up.
For how long are we going to pretend that everything’s going great in our relationship?
For how long are we going to sacrifice our sexual satisfaction and happiness just to protect the ego of our partner?
For how long are we going to continue to fake orgasms?
It’s high time to speak up and become an agent of change. Own your sexual pleasure!
Owning your sexual pleasure starts by realizing that it’s your birthright! Just as the feminist movement has fought against inequality surrounding reproductive rights, domestic violence, and equal pay. Just as the Me-too movement took a stance against sexual abuse and sexual harassment, it’s time for us to pick up the mantle and fight for our sexual pleasure!
It’s time for us to make our partners know that our sexual satisfaction matters as much as theirs. And it starts by talking. Having these conversations can be difficult, no longer will we be defined by fear, doubt, shame, nor the opinions of others.
Our past experiences affects our perspective on sex. It is time we become comfortable with our own sexual experiences so we can begin to feel connect, confident, and in control.